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Battle for Marital Souls: Couples Warned Against Divorce

More than 100 couples attending the 2025 annual Christian Couples Fellowship Retreat in Miango were reminded that their marriages are in a spiritual battle for their very souls.

Christian marriage is for life, says Rev. Dr. David Pofi who was giving a charge on purpose-driven Christian homes, emphasizing that it is disturbing when Christians even consider divorce. He attributes this to a lack of understanding about God’s purpose for marriage.

Rev. Pofi emphasizes that God’s purpose for marriage includes procreation, mutual companionship, sexual fulfillment, and raising godly children. He stresses that divorce has no place in Christian marriage, attributing it to hardness of hearts rather than God’s original design. Citing Matthew 19:7-9, he notes that the concession for divorce was given by Moses due to the Israelites’ hard-heartedness, underscoring that divorce is a departure from God’s ideal for marriage.

Rev. Pofi stresses that God hates divorce, which is not part of His will. He laments that divorce has become prevalent even in the church. According to him, divorce often stems from primary causes  like stubbornness and hard-heartedness, and secondary causes which are often symptoms of deeper issues such as selfishness, disagreements and poor communication, which can manifest in couples who claim to follow God but don’t truly submit to Him. In contrast, when Jesus is at the center of a marriage, it can flourish and last a lifetime, as supported by Hebrews 3:12-14.

Rev. Pofi warns couples that when they cite reasons for divorce, they’re often just identifying symptoms. He notes that wherever there’s a ‘because,’ there’s usually a deeper underlying cause. Fault-finding and selfishness, for instance, can be signs of a dying marriage, rather than the root causes themselves.

Rev. Dr. Pofi reiterates that understanding their peculiarities and making adjustments in marriage are crucial to fulfilling God’s purpose. He urged couples to prioritize their relationships and make necessary adjustments from the start to build strong, lasting marriages.

Christian couples were told that no normal Christian will embark on divorce – that divorce is never an option. While divorce is defined as a legal dissolution of a marriage by a court, when couples become isolated and disconnected, they’ve essentially divorced each other in practice, even if not formally.

When couples meet Jesus they never remain the same. Divorce is stepping out of God’s will into Moses contemplation of stubbornness. Marriage is for life. Catch the little foxes in your relationship and your marriage will flourish. Be ready to obey the living word of God.

 

CCF 2025 Retreat Closes in Miango

The 2025 Christian Couples’ Fellowship Retreat came to a close on Sunday, August 17, at the Miango Rest Home in Bassa Local Government Area of Plateau State. The retreat opened on Thursday, August 14, with an Opening Charge delivered by Rev. Dr. David Pofi. His message, titled “Christian Marriage Is for Life,” served as a precursor to the main theme of the 2025 retreat: “Purpose-Driven Christian Home.”

Taking his scripture reading from Matthew 19:1–10, Rev. Pofi emphasized that God’s central purpose for marriage is rooted in fellowship with Him, companionship between husband and wife, procreation, and the raising of godly offspring.

He went on to stress that in Christian marriage, there is no room for divorce. Unfortunately, he noted, many Christians today readily advise others to seek divorce whenever challenges arise in their marriage. He defined divorce as “divided voices”—a situation where husband and wife fail to agree on important matters such as which church to attend, how to manage finances, or how to discipline their children.

Dr. Pofi explained that divorce is rarely a one-day decision; rather, it is the result of accumulated wrongs over time, compounded by unforgiveness. He identified stubbornness and hardness of heart as the primary causes of marital breakdown. In closing, he encouraged couples to make it a consistent prayer point, asking God to soften their hardened hearts and replace them with hearts of flesh.

He then read Matthew 7:21–23, explaining that if Jesus Christ is not truly the Lord of your life, He cannot be your Savior. Some people may have been Christians for decades, yet remain spiritual infants. He asked, “Is there a heaven for hard-hearted people?” The answer, he said, is no.

Turning to the secondary causes of divorce, he cited Matthew 19:3. These include constant fault-finding in a spouse, selfishness that ignores the differences between male and female, and a lack of adjustment—when couples fail to grow from their single habits into married life. He stressed that in Christian marriage, both husband and wife must be willing to adjust if they are to fulfill God’s purpose.

He also noted the danger of lacking oneness of purpose, especially in managing finances or disciplining children. He concluded by stating, “Divorce is stepping out of God’s will into Moses’ permitted will, caused by the stubbornness and hardness of hearts. It is easier and far less costly to prevent a divorce than to endure one.”

Dr. Falope urges Christian couples to build purpose-driven marriages

Every woman entering marriage must do so with the mindset of being a helper—because the man requires help, and he, in turn, must be willing to accept it. To truly fulfill this role, a wife must understand her husband—his background, temperament, and uniqueness.

At the 2025 Christian Couples Fellowship retreat, Guest Speaker Dr. Segun Falope urged husbands to live with their wives in understanding, recognizing that their wives come from different backgrounds and experiences. “If a man is truly made, the home will be great,” he concluded.

A purpose-driven marriage, Dr. Falope explained, is ordained by God to raise godly offspring. “You can only produce your kind—that is why you must first be built by God,” he said, citing Malachi 2:15 to encourage couples to provide a conducive environment for their children’s well-being. He stressed that raising godly children requires time, attention, and balance between home responsibilities and other pursuits. He advised couples to attend school programs together and be actively involved in monitoring their children’s growth, noting that “to carry children in your bosom is to carry them in your heart.”

Dr. Falope also emphasized that sexual fulfillment within marriage is an integral part of a purpose-driven home. He cautioned couples not to reduce intimacy to material transactions or defile it by introducing pornography or perverse practices. “Sex is a powerful glue in marriage,” he said. To husbands, he warned against infidelity, urging them not to “drink water from another man’s well.”

 

 

Purpose, not competition, defines marriage – Dr. Falope at 2025 CCF Retreat

An important truth couples should understand is that it was God who made the woman for the man. The man was not created for the woman, but the woman for the man, said Dr. Segun Falope, who was speaking at the 2025 Christian Couples Fellowship retreat.

For a Christian home to be purpose-driven, both husband and wife must recognize the divine purpose behind their union. It is God’s purpose that defines a marriage—because it is purpose that determines design, he said, adding that just as a man is designed according to God’s purpose, so also is a woman.

Dr. Falope explained that God did not make a mate for the man, but a help meet for him. Before God, man and woman are equal, yet their roles are complementary. “Mates compete,” he cautioned. “When you see your wife as a mate, there will always be the temptation of rivalry, conflict, and struggle. But partners meet. Your wife is not your mate in the boxing ring.”

For a woman, challenges in marriage should never be a reason to give up. “Your role as a wife is superior to your profession and even to your parents, because you were not made for them but for your husband,” Dr. Falope emphasized. He added that a wife must not substitute her children for her husband, noting, “That is why a woman cannot say, ‘I am staying in this marriage just because of my children.’ You are called to live for a divine purpose. You are God’s solution to your husband’s aloneness. When you understand this, you begin to live for a higher purpose.”

Christian couples urged to harness the creative power of their words

 

Christian couples have been reminded of the creative and destructive power resident in their tongues. “The problems of the world are what we call them,” said Dr. Segun Falope, Guest Speaker at the 2025 annual retreat of the Christian Couples Fellowship in Miango.

Drawing from Genesis 2:18–25, Dr. Falope explained that it was what Adam called each living creature that established its character and identity. Yet, despite this God-given creative authority, no suitable helper was found until God made a woman from Adam’s rib—whom he also named woman, for she was taken out of him.

Dr. Falope urged Christian couples to recognize that “calling” is an act of work and authority. He cautioned them to be mindful of the words they use with each other, emphasizing that what you call your spouse is what he or she will become. He concluded by admonishing men never to demean their wives by calling them names such as “foolish” or “witch,” but instead to treat them with honor and respect if they desire to build and sustain a purpose-driven Christian home.

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