Under the soft glow of fellowship and the quiet authority of Scripture, couples from across Abuja gathered recently for the combined fellowship of the Christian Couples Fellowship (CCF) in Abuja, where conversations about marriage unfolded not as arguments to be won, but as hearts learning again how to walk together.
The fellowship centred on Study 18 of the CCF Manual titled Complementing Each Other. Couples were divided into four discussion groups — two for men and two for women — and tasked with a delicate but necessary assignment: to openly express what they need from their spouses in order to fulfil their God-given roles in marriage. What emerged was less of a debate and more of a mirror held gently before both men and women.
Presenting the position of Group A, which comprised men, a representative acknowledged that some men tend to be egoistic and often assume they know better than their wives. The group said husbands should involve their wives earlier in decision-making processes rather than merely informing them after decisions have already been taken. “A wife should not hear decisions only after everything has been concluded. There is wisdom in partnership,” the representative said. The group also encouraged men to explain the reasoning behind their decisions, seek their wives’ opinions sincerely and maintain respect and grace in conversations.
Group B, also made up of men, stressed the need for husbands to share responsibility for household chores rather than leaving domestic duties entirely to women. The group, however, urged wives to trust their husbands’ leadership even when decisions may not appear perfect. “No husband gets everything right all the time, but trust strengthens a man’s confidence to lead responsibly,” a participant said.
Speaking for Group C, which comprised women, a representative called on husbands to communicate more openly with their wives and avoid carrying burdens alone. “We want our husbands to talk to us, not to carry burdens alone as though marriage is a one-man journey,” she said. The group also highlighted the importance of adequate financial support, inclusion in decision-making and openness to marital counselling when necessary. They cautioned husbands against assuming wives are uninformed or incapable of making sound decisions.
Group D, also comprising women, emphasised the need for effective communication and emotional support in marriage. The group said husbands should communicate clearly with their wives, assist more with household chores and show greater appreciation and understanding toward their spouses. “Women want to be informed, heard and understood,” the group’s secretary stated.
Participants said the discussions encouraged honest reflection on the roles of husbands and wives in building stronger and more supportive marriages. The fellowship concluded with calls for couples to embrace partnership, understanding and mutual respect as essential values for healthy family relationships.