Marriage is God’s idea, not merely a human arrangement between two people who have fallen in love and decided to build a life together. And because it belongs to God, Professor Modupe Onwochei said, couples must take it seriously. There is, she stressed, no marriage in its truest sense unless it is rooted in God and lived as a Christian marriage.
She was speaking to over 100 couples gathered at Miango Rest House for the Annual Retreat, where she joined her husband, Guest Speaker Professor Pic Onwochei, as part of the programme.
Professor Modupe said the story of the first marriage offers a powerful clue to God’s intention. In the beginning, God did not leave Adam to search for a wife. He brought Eve to him. Marriage, therefore, is not simply something couples create for themselves; it is something God designed and entrusted to them.
That is why, she said, couples must be careful not to allow self to take the driver’s seat in their marriages. God’s purpose, she explained, is not merely for couples to live together, but to be fruitful, multiply and fill the earth. Yet that fruitfulness goes beyond having children. “God wants you to replicate righteousness and produce homes to replicate the grace of God you have received,” she said.
The authority God gives couples, she added, is therefore a responsibility—to build homes that reflect His character, extend His grace and reproduce His righteousness.
She also reminded the couples that the privilege of having a spouse is not guaranteed forever. Life is fleeting, and the gift of companionship should therefore be treasured while it lasts. How couples treat each other matters. “You will quarrel less when you do what God commanded you to do,” she said, arguing that many conflicts in marriage arise from a failure to understand and faithfully fulfil the responsibilities that come with being husband and wife.
Money, she noted, can also become a source of trouble in the home—money to buy, money to do and money to undo. But beneath many of these quarrels, she suggested, is a deeper problem: couples sometimes lose sight of what truly matters and become distracted by things that do not serve the purpose of their marriage.
Using the image of a soldier standing in the rain, she reminded the couples that a soldier on duty does not abandon his post simply because the conditions are uncomfortable. He remains at his post, refusing to flinch even when flies buzz around his face and attempt to enter his nose, until his commander gives the order to leave.
Marriage, she seemed to remind the couples, is much the same. There will be rain. There will be discomfort. There will be moments when the conditions are not favourable. But when God is the One who called us to the assignment, faithfulness means remaining at our post, loving, serving and building together until He says otherwise.